Saturday, April 30, 2011

Getting a result

A Glasgow "street party" to celebrate the royal wedding has been broken up by the polis. But what is so delicious about this jolly little riot is that it was triggered after the organisers took David Cameron at his word and set up a street party without permission of the local gauleiters.

Two teenagers had organised the rave in Glasgow's Kelvingrove Park, using facebook to advertise the event. Over four thousand turned up, many proceeding to get rat-arsed. Rather predictably chaos ensued as the drunken revellers turned violent.

It was then left for the police to intervene, with officers on bicycles attempting to make arrests. Much to their surprise, this attempt went pear-shaped as they were surrounded by other "guests", who offered the police various helpful suggestions.

To entertain the rest of the bystanders, the police then obligingly organised a mounted charge on bottle-throwers, who had now promoted the event to a full-blown riot. As groups of "innocent" revellers caught up in the mayhem applauded the display, hundreds of missiles were thrown at the police, but only three were injured - police, that is ... no missiles were hurt in the making of this riot.

A spokesman for Dave was not contacted but one suspects that, if asked, he might have denied that a drunken bash by a horde of Glaswegians in a public park was what he had in mind when he attacked "pen pushers and busybodies" for thwarting royal wedding celebrations. But he did say: "They have no right to stop you from having fun. I am the Prime Minister and I am telling you if you want to have a street party, you go ahead and have one".

However, many would assert that there is no greater entertainment for the average Glaswegian than for them to get smashed out of their skulls and then indulge in prolonged, gratuitous violence against the police. And unlike the wuzzies in Bristol, this lot managed to smash the windows of at least three police vans.

On the other hand, Strathclyde finest enjoy nothing more than beating up drunken Glaswegians, on which basis, it looks as if everyone did have "fun", just as Dave wanted. This once, taking Cameron's advice has yielded a result. There is no truth to the rumour, though, that Glasgow council is sending the clean-up bill to No. 10.