Friday, September 09, 2011

Tim's left foot

It is difficult to decide whether people become (or remain) supporters of the current not-the-Tory-party because they are stupid, or whether the mind-numbing crassness of the party atrophies its members' brains to the extent that stupidity is the end result.

However, displaying the obtuseness of the tribe which we have come to know and so much admire, the delightful Tim, guru of all he surveys, is conducting a poll on our "relationship" with the EU.

As we have remarked before – with such force and so often that even the delightful Tim cannot fail to be aware – Britain is to the EU as Tim's left foot is to the rest of his body. We are part of the EU. The EU is a political construct which includes the UK. We do not have a "relationship" with it any more than Tim's left foot has one with the rest of his body.

By that token, no more can we renegotiate a relationship with the EU than Tim's left foot can renegotiate its relationship with the rest of his body. The foot can amputate the body ... or it can keep it. There is nothing in between.

There, however, the analogy falls apart. Unlike Tim's left foot, the UK is capable of an independent existence. Amputation of the rest of the "body" would be traumatic and difficult, but it would lead to a new lease of life.

Whether the body would survive the amputation is another matter. Already gangrenous, and all but brain-dead, the chances are that it would not. But the only way to save the "foot" is to amputate the body. Joined with a corpse, there is no way it can survive.