Bonking for Europe

A new writer, Hector Boffey, has joined the Social Affairs Unit Blog. Not his real name, of course, Boffey starts off his new career with an imaginary commentary between two Eurocrats, Gerhart and Maurice, over the relative merits of asking David Beckham to help lead the "yes" campaign for the EU Constitution.

Gerhard, it seems has reservations about using Beckham. In one of the exchanges, he reveals to Maurice that "there have been a number of extramarital trysts since he moved to Spain."

No problem, says Maurice. It is taken for granted that a rich, good-looking young man will find local distractions if his wife is absent. It may not play well in Hartlepool, Gerhard but I assure you it will not harm his image in Paris, Milan or Athens. After all such alliances can be depicted as a symbol of political unity – European union in action! Beckham bonks for Europe! I can see the headlines, Gerhard.

Says Gerhard: Unfortunately, Maurice I am not sure he has been bonking the right girls. One was a member of his English PR staff, another was his wife's beautician, also English, and another was an Australian lap dancer. The boy may be virile but I don't believe that his sex life can be presented as symbol of European integration. If anything, he seems to be making the case for Imperial Preference.

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