The alternative Wednesday toy

Back to those Latin lessons and the innumerable battle formations that the Romans insisted on writing about.

Because Caesar's self-serving screeds were the first literary text pupils read in my day we all had to learn a huge amount about military tactics, the Roman army's structure and, of course, that never to be forgotten tortoise - testudo, testudinis (f).

And, as every school child knows, the Romans tended to divide conquered territories into three parts, calling them, according to that work of genius, "1066 And All That", weeny, weedy and weaky.

Various pictures of it in the posting, a bas relief, a diagram to show how it worked and a modern recreation, though possibly the police defending itself from stones and burning rags in the first two Notting Hill Carnival riots may make a more interesting comparison.

I understand from my colleague that part of the British counter-insurgency fight is still a form of that tortoise. Which just goes to show that you cannot outdo the Romans in military matters.

The alternative week-end toy

All this talk about toys with wings and people flying at incredible speed but where did it all start? With balloons in eighteenth century France.

The Montgolfiers were successful paper manufacturers but two of them were also scientific inventors. Actually, the two are not mutually exclusive as you had to be a scientific inventor to keep ahead in the paper business.

Joseph was the one who realized that heat lifted objects though he thought it was because smoke contained a special gas, which he named Montgolfier gas. Incidentally, this is a much better use of smoke than lining your lungs with gunge and making eveybody else's life difficult because I got me rights, donni.

On June 4 1783

they flew this craft as their first public demonstration at Annonay in front of a group of dignitaries from the Etats particulars. Its flight covered 2 km (1.2 mi), lasted 10 minutes, and had an estimated altitude of 1,600 - 2,000 m (5,200 - 6,600 ft).

The balloon, which was used for a demonstration before Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette was made of taffeta with the collaboration of the wallpaper manufacturer Jean-Baptiste Reveillon.

On September 19, 1783 the first flight with animals (it was decided to send animals before chancing humans, a sheep, a duck and a rooster, was demonstrated at Versailles before the King and Queen and sundry others.

The flight lasted approximately 8 minutes, covered 2 miles, and obtained an altitude of about 1500 feet. The flight would have been longer but the craft was unstable. It tipped wildly just after launch which allowed a considerable amount of hot air to spill from the mouth. The animals survived the trip unharmed.

On November 21 the first manned flight took place above Paris. The balloon with two passengers hovered for about 25 minutes and caused a sensation. The flight was much reproduced in illustrations.

The alternative Friday toy

Well, the last lot of toy discussions went down well, didn't it. We had to lock the thread on the forum. And that just goes to show that serious alternative toys are no more popular among some of our readers than the ordinary ones.

So, back to basics. Here is Behemot again, clutching a pistol this time. I believe this is closer to the original text but, somehow, I prefer the other picture.

For one thing, Behemot is supposed to be a slick and elegant cat, who powders his whiskers with gold and hangs elegant opera glasses round his neck before the Devil's grand ball. The cat in this picture is a muscular tough.

Anyway, this one is dedicated to all those readers who have read the novel and liked it. It is also, I hope an inspiration for the others to read it.

A serious alternative Thursday toy

Sad to say but some of our readers have not taken kindly to my alternative toy series. My suspicion is that they have an alternative IQ.

Normally I would say that this is my blog and I post what I like on it. When I last looked there was no legislation that forced anyone to read it. There are many blogs out there. Let the market rule.

However, just for once I have decided to pander to their alternative ideas and put up a serious alternative toy.

This is a row of T-54s rolling down the streets of Budapest in November 1956, watched by a sullen (one assumes) crowd and photographed by someone who just happened to be there. As a child I saw brothers of these toys rolling down other streets, watched by very silent people. The third tank is somewhat different and it has been suggested to me that it is probably a PT-76, an amphibious tank, which would explain the boat-like shape.

Having pandered to those of alternative IQ, I shall return (just as soon as I can be bothered) to the original concept of the alternative toys.

COMMENT THREAD