Count the teaspoons

We are agreed. The Tories are running scared. With the collapse of the Lib-dims and the increasing instability of their coalition, they are confronting the prospect of an early election. And they have also realised that the Cameron strategy of attracting Lib-dim voters to the fold is not going to work.

All of a sudden, therefore, they need the eurosceptic vote. And after years of ignoring and scorning, they are making a pitch for it.

They've been at it before, of course – if one recalls the Feeble Finklestein back in 2009, but more recently we've had Oborne, Brogan and then Hilton, followed by Useless Eustice (pictured). Now, we have Iain Martin adding strength to the ranks of those who would have us believe that the Tories are suddenly coming over all eurosceptic.

Nor is this the first time that Martin has descended to tosh-level, but there is now too much of a pattern to believe that all of this is accidental. We are entirely in agreement in believing that there is the smell of a structured campaign here – evidence of guiding minds.

Such is the thickness of the bubble wall behind which these "born-again-eurosceptics" operate, however, that they really do believe that they can overcome the recent legacy of Cameronism, and his broken promise on the Lisbon referendum. They really do believe they  can capitalise on the increasing mood of euroscepticism in the country.

In this, though, they can rely on the continued lacklustre performance of UKIP, and the willingness of Farage to sabotage his own party, plus the efforts of "Uncle Tom" operations such as Open Europe and the EU referendum campaigns. All these are being enlisted to steer the wobblers in the direction of the Tories as they try to build a constituency that will get them back into office when the coalition goes belly up.

The interesting thing, though, is that all these born-againers are fighting their main battle through the MSM. They should have listened to the other Hilton, who observed - if somewhat prematurely – that the election will be fought on the web. And there, to the likes of Wittering for Witney and many others, the Tory ploy is so transparent as to be risible.

Englands Freedome echoes the theme, and so does The Snowolf. Very few on the web will need reminding that the first rule of politics – and especially when it comes to the European Union – is "never trust a Tory".

If the Tories are trying to tell us that they have suddenly become eurosceptics, it is time to count the teaspoons. When they come over all friendly, the response offered in the caption of the second cartoon (above right) seems appropriate.

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