The "inner tosser" rides again

Wouldn't it be nice if one could keep to that putative resolution of not attacking David Cameron and the Conservative Party? Actually, wouldn't it be nice if we had a Conservative Party?

Well, what happens? I ignore the Sunday newspapers and lo, and behold, the Boy-King comes out with yet another political gem, which he will repeat in a speech today. It seems that the people out there (far away from his own rather expensive home and lifestyle) are paying too much. In fact, he has just been told (perhaps, by one of the nannies) that the cost of living has been going up.

So, like a good little boy scout he wants to help everyone. The Conservative Party – deeply in debt, as all of us know – is setting up a website to help people to cut down on their cost of living or their bills (whichever seems more accurate). This, apparently, is part of their campaign against Gordon Brown who is being accused "of adding to the burden on families who are feeling the pinch by hiking taxes and allowing housing costs to escalate".

So, does this mean that the Conservatives will cut some of those taxes, specifically the Stamp Duty on home buying? Not so that you'd notice.

Cutting taxes, as Georgy-Porgy Osborne has told us, is courting cheap popularity and that is something the new, caring, sharing (especially of our money) Conservatives would never do. Actually, they would never court any kind of popularity, cheap or expensive but let that pass.

So, instead of telling us what leading “a Government that helps people to live for less”, David Cameron and his Tory Boys will give us lots of advice how to cut those pesky utility bills and make sure that "some vital goods and services - such as plumbing and rail fares" did not become unbearably expensive or, any more expensive than they are, or, well, you know.

Just to show how unfair it all is, the Boy-King has promised that he would ask the Office of Fair Trading to investigate soaring gas bills. Ahem, any chance of investigating those soaring tax bills?

I suppose, I shall have to ask it again. Is this really what one wants Her Majesty’s Opposition to do: give advice on how to pay bills and cut down on the cost of living? Would it not be a goodish way for all those intellects in Conservative Central Office to spend their time to produce some ideas about how they are going to reverse the horrors of the Blair-Brown government? Perhaps, even they have given up on the notion of Cameron ever becoming prime minister.

COMMENT THREAD