Monday, May 16, 2011

We who also notice

So The Dail Fail has actually noticed that this wonderful adventure, set up by our clever, sexy, diligent, inspired, charming, confident, brilliant, good-looking, intelligent prime minister, tinged with the mantle of greatness, isn't actually working out very well.

But it has nothing to do with the fact that the man is a prize plonker. There is no way Fleet Street's finest could get it wrong. They are such clever and sophisticated people, and know everything there is to know.

And by the way, could someone check the arithmetic on this? To date, in support of Operation ELLAMY, 2 MT Squadron personnel, based at RAF Wittering, have travelled the equivalent distance of eight times around the world and transported 1,680 tons of kit down to the airfield at Gioia del Colle. That's 8 x 25,000 miles. At 10p per ton/mile, that is £33,600,000.

Have I got it right, or is that really just the cost of getting the goodies down to the swimming pool, before they even start playing with their toys? It may not be because we offered a cost more like £820,000: 1,680 tons split between 41 lorries in two convoys travelling a total of 200,000 miles. 4,878 miles journey each lorry: 1680 x 4878 x £0.10 = £819,504.

If that is right, then all we can say is, what a clever man that Mr Cameron is to get us such a bargain. We who also notice, salute you Dave! We are just soooooooooo overcome by your greatness. We can barely stand to be on the same planet, so brilliant is your magnificentness.