Zimbabwean observers were last night expressing their fears that the British General Election will be invalid, thanks to widespread vote-rigging and fraud by the leader of the ruling Labour Party, the power-crazed Tony Mugablair.
Already evidence is mounting from all over the country that that Mugablair's henchmen in such remote settlements as Birmingham are forging huge quantities of postal votes in order to deliver an overwhelming Zanulabour victory.
On of the few independent judges left in Britain with the courage to speak his mind yesterday compared his country's corrupt voting system to that of a "banana republic".
Our beloved leader President Mugabe was rightly outraged by the horrifying news of how Britain's election was being stolen by its hated dictator. "Mugablair", he said, "has shocked the civilised world. He should step down at once and allow the real winner of the election to take over as rightful leader of the British Empire, ie myself"
By Our Mann in London Lunchtime O'Noose
(Private Eye 1130, 15-28/4/05)