Hard life being a failure

Christopher Patten has thrown in the towel, telling the BBC last night that his political career was "effectively over" after he failed in his bid to become commission president. This is who man who, having failed to get re-elected in the 1992 general election, went on to give away Hong Kong to the Chinese and then destroyed the Royal Ulster Constabulary.

However, things are not all black for Patten. He had spent part of the week in Oxford and that had left him "feeling anything but disappointment that I won't be spending my next five years slogging around, responsible for the reform of the Common Agricultural Policy and all sorts of delights like that". (Funny that, we thought the CAP had just been "reformed" – ed.)

Anyhow, disappointed or not, Patten can certainly enjoy the fruits of past labours. While the rest of us struggle to the age of 70 or beyond for our meagre £4,081 state pension, he can draw down his £60,000 a year commission pension, plus all the other bunce he's managed to pick up on the way. Hard life being a failure, innit?