Sits vac

If anyone is interested, there is a vacancy in the Empire for a new "anti-terrorism chief". Eurosceptics need not apply.

Employment consultant José Socrates, part-time Satrap of Portugal while he currently occupies the demi-throne of the EU Empire, is casting round for suitable applicants, against a job specification of "ensuring smooth cooperation" between the Empire's 27 provinces.

The previous post holder, Gijs de Vries, stepped down in March at the end of his three-year term and the Empire has been slow in replacing him as some of the Satraps have dared question the need for such a prestigious post.

However, the current representative of the Empire is having none of this, stressing that a new coordinator must be appointed urgently and his "mandate" defined more clearly: "Only Empire European cooperation allows us to prevent and pursue terrorism," Socrates declared.

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