this today but it did get me thinking. I think it was back in 2004, when I was giving some serious consideration to joining the BNP. I think in my reading list at the time was Londonistan by Melanie Phillips, The Daily Mail in general and The Daily Telegraph, along with an assortment of blogs, all the way up to the then right-wing "Little Green Footballs".
Against a backround of commuting through Muslim ghettos every day, with memories of being hounded out of my first flat by a Muslim gang, most of what I was reading had a air of truth to it. There are no-go areas for young white men. There are muslim gangs grooming young girls for sex. And it still is an epidemic.
There are benefit forms printed in a dozen languages from the Indian sub-continent and the local schools throw more resources than they have, simply trying to cope with the language differentials. Even now there are children who have never been to Pakistan with pakistani accents and a better command of their language than English. What is more troubling; they have little need to learn English.
I remember well the school next to my own where at 4pm a procession of burka-covered women would exit, accompanied by all manner of (non-working) men wearing Taliban pyjamas. I also remember escorting a friend to the Bradford Royal Infirmary one Friday night to find it a cattle market of foreigners dressed in ethnic clothing and barking commands in another language at the reception staff. It was an enraging experience.
Call me xenophobic, which I probably am, but at the time I thought, and I expect I still would if I still lived in that festering crevice, that these people were backward savages who were taking over. I was angry at them, because they were the ones making my home town less of a pleasant place to be. And Bradford is by no means the worst of it. Go up into Lancashire and you really are in the badlands. Oldham and Burnley are places the world forgot.
When you're reading about it and living it day to day, it's very difficult to keep extreme thoughts at bay, especially when measured against the fact that our own people are still living in wretched poverty. Even before the credit crunch, incomes were still being squeezed for the elderly. I recall that hate becoming almost all-consuming for a time. It was tunnel vision. It was in your face every single day.
It was perfectly obvious to anyone with eyes to see that there was/is something fundamentally wrong with our immigration policy and what then became known to me as multi-culturalism. Though it was the fault of government, I still couldn't help looking upon these people as animals.
In fact, I still am a racist. I might not say the things I am thinking when some Somalian cuts me up at a give way sign in what is probably an uninsured car on its last legs. But I still think those things. And then imagine the resentment when such an every day thing goes unchecked, but do a few miles over 70mph on a dual carriageway in the daylight ... lose your job, your home ... your life.
You very quickly get the impression that any sense of justice has gone out of the window. Any attempt to grasp the nettle of multi-culturalism is far beyond the courage of any of our leaders. And why? Because, thanks to the BBC, it's political suicide.
But never in this time did I get the urge to shave my head and go beating up the "pakis" as so many in Bradford did. It was easy to see that it was government doing this to us and the Muslims I hated were every bit as much a victim of that same cultural alienation.
Having been so royally screwed over, there were times where I would not have gone out of my way to harm a policeman, but had they turned up on the wrong day at the wrong time ... I don't know what I might have done. To this day I am still more afraid of the police than I am the common criminal, for what they might do without due consideration of the consequences.
And not just the police either. Let's face it, who here hasn't wanted to shove a bayonet in Harriet Harman or Chris Huhnes face every time they speak? It is government who have done this to us. And if you were to go on a rampage and punish the guilty, politicians would be a good place to start.
So why didn't I go down that path? It's quite simple. For a young man, even with nothing, I still had a lot to lose and still do. But I am one of the lucky ones. For every one of me there has to be another handful who aren't so lucky. They have nothing to lose. That is dangerous. It fits the profile. Young Muslim men and young white men alike suffer alienation, desperation, then anger. And 7/7 shows it has catastrophic endings.
As to Anders Breivik, it would be very foolish not to consider why he thought he had no alternative to violence. He is right about many things. The BBC, the EU and multi-culturalism. And young Muslims have as much right to be angry about it as white Englishmen. In the absence of democracy, it is only a brave man willing to give up his future, or a man with nothing to lose who is in a position to make a statement.
In light of this, our leaders may well take note. There are more men like that waiting in the wings and they are watching and waiting. Soon such a time may come where those who have only a little to lose, have even that taken from them. Then there will be more blood. And while I do not condone the killing of children ever, if our leaders continue to deny us a say in our future and our lives, they themselves are fair game. I shall not shed a tear when it happens.
That being said, if that line of thinking results in shooting children as Breivik has done ... I'm off down the pub instead. Life is way too short.